God's Story on Childbearing
How mothering fits into creation, fall, redemption, and consummation
I’ve noticed in recent years that the typical Mother’s Day graphics that circulate the internet have gotten a lot more in-depth. They used to just say the three celebratory words, complete with some flowers or a butterfly. But now we are sure to also acknowledge bereaved Mother’s Day the week before, and to consider all different kinds of mothers on the actual day. One graphic in particular I saw yesterday said happy Mother’s Day to “those who are mothers, those who have lost children, those who are expecting, those who have lost their mothers, those who have adopted, and those who are step moms.” I would also include those who are trying to become mothers and those who take up a motherly role even if they don’t have biological children.
I think the need to honor all different kinds of moms stems from the fact that all these different situations are hard. I haven’t personally experienced every type of motherhood on that list, but I am close to people who have, and have seen the hardships that those mothers have experienced.
I recently read a book called Risen Motherhood by Emily Jensen and Laura Wifler. My small group of young moms is currently going through it and we have had many good discussions surrounding this read. Each chapter focuses on a specific aspect of motherhood and walks you through how it connects to the gospel story of creation, the fall, redemption, and consummation. It is so interesting to see the daily tasks I do as a mom connect to the overall story God has written for the world.
In chapter 8, they discuss birth experiences, and when they get to the fall part, of course Genesis is quoted (in fact, it is quoted several times throughout the book). After giving into sin, Eve’s curse is: “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children,” Genesis 3:16. And boy does that feel alive and relevant when you’re on your 24th hour of labor without sleep or food or meds. But “childbearing” refers to a lot more than just the act of giving birth. Wifler goes on to write “The pain of bearing children begins the day of conception and continues not just through the birth but beyond, through the toddler years, grade school, graduation day, and a lifetime,” (71). I would argue for some of us it starts long before conception as well, with ovulation tests, online forums, countless books and articles, daily temperature tracking, and monthly hopeful urination on a stick. Then post-conception we have morning sickness, cramps, swollen feet, kicks in the ribs, and carrying the physical weight of a baby for nine months. Then there’s the actual labor and delivery. For adoptive mothers there are long and complicated forms and processes, waiting and hoping. For step mothers there is the melding of families and hope for acceptance. For all mothers then there comes the sleepless nights, pulled hair, struggles to feed (however that may look like), running around pretending and protecting until you’re completely out of steam, and worrying that no matter what you do, you’re doing it wrong. Old Testament professor John Walton says the root word of “pain” used in that verse “refers to pain, agony, hardship, worry, nuisance and anxiety,” (Walton). So that encompasses all the mental strife we mothers go through, wanting the best for our kids but preparing for the worst. The mom guilt, the Instagram envy, the checking to make sure they’re still breathing two, three, seven times a night. For hopeful mothers who have lost kids or were unable to have them, there is the unimaginable pain of wanting a child so badly you long to experience all the negative things I just listed.
Okay so I’ve just ranted for plenty long that being a mother of any kind is hard and painful and heck yes we deserve a day to relax and be honored. But where’s the hope?
Luckily, God’s story does not start or end with the fall and the curse and the pain of childbearing. When He created the world, this was not part of His design. When sin entered the equation, the world fell and we were kicked out of Eden and all these things flowed forth. But then comes redemption. Risen Motherhood says, “it was through the very thing by which we’re cursed that God sent our Savior, who would eventually deliver us,” (71). God’s mercies include some easy conceptions, heartburn medicines, epidurals, baby smiles, “I love you, mama”s, and countless other positives that far outweigh all the pain we are cursed with. And when Jesus returns, the curse will be broken and there will be no more sorrow or pain in childbearing or in anything else.
Bearing children, from trying-to-conceive to moving them into college and beyond, is a beautiful picture of how not in control we are. I am constantly reminded that I am unable to do this alone and am in need of a Savior. Luckily, I don’t have to do this alone, and neither do you.
Wherever you’re at with Mother’s Day, whether you are one of the mothers I listed earlier, or if you love someone who is, you are a part of God’s story. We often get caught up in the curses of the fall, in the toils of work and hardships of childbearing, but we do not have to live there. Let us celebrate Christ’s redemption and find new mercies every morning. Let us build each other up in our journeys of motherhood, whatever they look like. And let us look forward to our ultimate consummation and freedom from the curses of this earth.
Thanks for the good reminders.